I keep getting these short optimistic bursts. Then I realize, no, this is not going away.

I hate how the only way I can talk to Joel is if I call him. I hate talking on the phone, but I hate calling people even more.

Seth called me the other day. I think he hates talking on the phone more than I do. It was awkward too. He doesn't ever talk about anything. Like i try with this kid, i really try. But really?

like i know he likes me, but i don't think he'll ever open up to me.

I think it's always going to be awkward between us.

It really sucks i can't talk to my dad about brad. One of my guy friends who has a daughter said he'd hunt him down if i was her.

He did text me today saying he was serious about making it work with me.

Sometimes when I think about it all I just start laughing. Because really, wow.