i keep starting to make an entry, but i keep getting distracted.

i wanted to take a nap, but i made coffee earlier.

right now i'm working at the orchard and the mall. i'm three weeks into school now. and i already feel like i'm going to fail.

one of my classes is portfolio, which isn't really demanding in the creative process, but still pretty demanding. she said she believed my class has more potential of being artists, not just getting an art degree.

i really wonder about my potential. i don't know where i see myself ending up. in my heart i know i want to be an artist.

i've also been thinking about if i should break up with joel. maybe it's just not going to work even if we both want it to. i'm not sure if we are really committed.

i'm also starting to realize that we might be really different in a way that doesn't work in the long run. it's like we have the best sex life and everything else is a piece of shit.

he said he was going to marry me one day, and then he basically took it back. it's just a little confusing and it makes me lose faith in us.