summer school starts next week.

i think i made the dean's list for spring, but now a part of me is afraid i won't get it because of some technicality.

joel said he doesn't understand why i have no confidence and self-depreciating.

it's like, well i could tell you, but then you'd just be aware of my sucky qualities from now on.

i don't know. he in a way said he loved me without saying it. and then talked about me transferring. i always knew if things were to ever "happen" with him i'd be the one who'd have to make the move.

though i do kind of feel like i'm establishing some good connections in indy.

something kind of random, but i've befriended several dj's and emcees over the past year. last night we talked about me coming out with a hip hop cd.

i said it would, if anything, be an experimental cd, but the dj said he would make me put hip hop on it.

after taking my anthropology class, it kind of makes me look more into people. i've always been a people watcher, but i think it's different now.

i kind of feel like i don't fit in, but they accept me anyways. i wonder if they know.

i don't think joel gets it. i told him about a video i was in a couple of saturdays ago. he asked if it would actually come out.

why would you make a music video but not release it? i think because it most likely will not air on tv...

i've enjoyed my unemployment, but i think i need to get some sort of job soon.

i just don't want to work with food anymore, but i might have to give in.

i need to start doing something productive.