so today was pretty awesome except the following:

this woman at work said i needed to get laid and told everyone that i follow guys around like a dog. all because i'm friends with this guy.

we talk about books.

i don't know where she gets the following part...

and she didn't believe me when i said i have a boyfriend. what a bitch.

then i get home and joel texts me.

apparently he's been saved.

i think it's some sort of april fools joke, but he wants to hang out tomorrow so he can tell me all about it.

jesse says he doesn't care, but i think a little part of him does, but he knows joel and i are just friends.

me and dad hung out for a bit.

i bought ten packs of cigarettes on special before the prices went up.

i plan on quitting. lets see how that goes...

i'm also getting a new car sometime this week or next.

it's a cute saturn. i'm excited.

let's hope i don't wreck it, because i bet next time i'll die.

so today i was thinking. big deal right?

but have you ever had to hold someone's secret?

like a terrible one, not one of those "i cheated on my boyfriend" or "i stole a library book once"

like about three years ago someone told me their terrible secret. and i'm just sitting here keeping it.

we aren't friends anymore, but i know i'll never tell.

i think mostly because it's so terrible that i'm afraid that they'll hate me, like it was my secret.

i wish i never knew. it still makes me sick.

i try not to care. oh well.