i�m having a great time and i don�t need you pulling me down and starting drama.

grow up.

i�m not going to let anyone get me down anymore.

i�ll do whatever i please, no worries for me.

i�m not going to sellout.

i�m not going to settle for anything less than what i know i deserve.

i�m going to succeed in life and you are going to wallow in your misery over what you could have become.

you my friend are going nowhere and i�m not going to be joining you.

i still can't believe this all happened, and that you don't believe me. i have never lied to you.

and you are going to accept the word of some girl i've never spoken to privately like it's the fucking word of god.

i can't say i'm not hurt, because i am.

but i'm kind of relieved that i don't really have to be annoyed about you wanting to make our friendship more.

i never wanted it to be this way, but if it needs to be, let it i guess.

lately i've been up to my elbows in boys.

diana introduced me to a cute boy. she wants something to happen there.

i can't say i'm not interested. he is really cute and my age, but just still older than me.

and whitley wants me to hook up with her boyfriend's roommate. i've never met him but he looks cute in the picture.

and then there are the other boys i know. minor crushes. no big deal there.

i've never really had to deal with more than two boys before. i'm not saying i'm terribly ugly or anything.

i almost feel bad, because there are some friends i've been ignoring.

but there are times when i just can't talk to some people.

there are also times when i randomly put myself in someones life and randomly leave. just when they or i have gotten close.

i remember someone emailed tyler, telling him i did that, but i completely denied it. the girl who sent it though just wanted him, they almost became something.

but she fucked it up, and she was trying to fuck it up for me.

honestly tyler was the best thing to ever happen to me, and i wouldn't take any of it back. the only thing i'd change would be how everything ended.

just horrible and awkward.

i ramble a lot.

well i'm excited for the weekend. i've never been to a college party!