I have been thinking about getting some real lessons for the bass. I can play a few songs but not all as fast as they should be. I also kind of feel like I think it sounds better than what it actually does. Kind of like when I sing.

I went to visit my dad and chester and he got sick. He got sick after I left the last time too. It worries me because I'm afraid he's going to die and I won't be around. It makes me feel like a shitty person and I feel like it is going to make me resent joel for making me leave my cat behind.

He gets so excited when I visit. My dad says so, but I also know he doesn't want him here anymore because he has his own pet to take care of. He also asked me when I'd be taking him and if joel and I were getting a different place.

I just don't know. I feel like I have no control. I just don't want to not be here but he's not ready because his brother had a baby, but we can't at least look for a different place because he's to lazy to do that kind of stuff because staying is easier. There are also better places to look other than craigslist.

My eyelids feel like sandbags. I think I just need some sleep.