So work sucked tonight. I am just starting to realize a majority of people I work with suck. And not like lazy, but like generally as people.

This one guy literally said "I hate fags, but girls are ok, even the nasty ones." And then later was rude to a large group of Latino people and called them a slur for only getting an eleven dollar tip. It's just like, well with that attitude...

Then this woman believes herself to be above everyone else, and everyone excepts it. She is so two faced, except she's just shitty to me all the time because I don't treat her how she expects. But she enjoys it, being petty and a bully. Like I know that when she gets under someone's skin, she enjoys it, because I'm not the only one who has been a target.

But today this new guy got let go because of something I'm not super sure, because it's like a game of telephone. But anyway, people thought he was weird and he tells the manager he takes lithium. Well no one knows what it is, so I say it's an anti psychotic and now people are talking about this guy saying that he's probably going to shoot up a place. Because he's crazy.

Then I heard the woman say behind me that you should watch out for that one in reference to the guy, but then she said and probably that one... which I'm going to assume she was motioning to me.

It's just real fucking ridiculous. The tolerance and understanding of these people are way below any threshold I care to be around.

What upset me the most was this other girl I thought was kind of cool was a big player in making fun of this guy. I hope he didn't hear any of it, and I think they let him go.

I feel like soon enough I'll make myself a pariah. I feel like I am becoming one in other areas of my life.

Everything has just gotten me down lately. I feel like not even a shell, but less than nothing.

I wish I didn't work all weekend now, but hopefully I start making money instead of breaking even on my bills.

I know my money problem is a big factor in my feelings lately. I haven't told anyone because I feel really stupid and like a big hypocrite. And I know it's my fault, and I don't make good decisions and I am avoidant when it comes to dealing with stuff.

I wish I could tell joel but I don't think he'd be so understanding. I don't like owing people money and I've never been in a huge amount of debt before. But now I am, and soon my student loans are going to kick in.

It's just all so, I don't know, but I just want to say fuck on repeat.

My birthday is also the day after election day. So, all I'd really like is for trump or pence are not in office. Trump scares me, but pence scares me more. But if it does happen, it'll just be another shitty birthday. I also know joel will probably poke fun about it because I think he is secretly a trump supporter. Which does make me question our relationship because I feel like we completely disagree, like way too much for it to work.

Also me not having money kind of sucks and we now fight about it.