i have a few new year goals.

i went through all the boxes in my room and storage. new year cleaning makes more sense than spring cleaning. i hope to keep up this organization i have accomplished. especially all of my art stuff.

i also want to read at least one book a month. i have only read three this past year and two i had read before.

i hung out with a girl from school and she had confided in me about her situation of how she is still technically married. a lot of shit happened i guess. and some of it reminded me of jesse.

seriously, i really hate that i ever dated that kid.

so i hope to get over residual effects of that whole time, because i know it did some damage that has carried over into my other relationships.

i don't want to smoke a pack a day. though i started cutting back before the new year. i would like a pack to last me a few days.

joel is trying to quit completely. good luck... i think i like it too much to quit completely, but i hope he does. i'd like to become a social smoker. and just leaving them in my car.

superficially, i'm doing a squat challenge and want to continue doing them and other exercises throughout the year. because honestly, i never do any real type of exercises except i always take the stairs at school (i had a lab on the fifth floor, i'd breathe like a 400 pound man and have to really take a minute to catch my breath) i would just like to start doing more.

but i also have no ass. like whatsoever... my jeans slip down, because i'm literally a board. i mean if nothing changes i'm just going to except it, but i don't know. i don't have boobs either (though i actually really like my small boobs, i hate being constrained by a bra 24/7) but why can't i have a nice ass? i know it's a girl complaint, but i don't care, it is my goal.

i also want to really focus on my art and the possibilities for it. my painting teacher told me i was better than i let myself believe and that i should consider an art school that's only focus is art and not a school that is just close to where i want to be. i had told her that i was hoping to move to be with joel after spring, though now it's december, so i can graduate. i had planned on taking all of the art classes i could and taking my general classes at a different school, but what's a few more months? plus i think it works out better this way.

but i'm not really sure about what i want to do exactly. i mean, i think most people who go to art school would love to just be an artist, but in reality it's not going to work out for everyone. i'm not going to stop what i'm doing though.

anyway, i have basically gotten a job at a gas station that one of my friends work at. i'm not quitting my job search, because i don't know how i really feel about it. i've had a gun pointed at my face before, and i just keep thinking working there is going to increase the chances of that happening again. that shit just stays with you...

but anyway, in my new year cleaning i found my warcraft iii. i've never played world of warcraft, but i think the actual game of warcraft is really fun. it just sucks you in and next thing you know, it's later than you expected...