I ended up calling Joel last night but he didn't answer. I left a lame voicemail.

I hate leaving voicemail. I never say what I mean to.

He ended up calling me this morning. Saying all this bullshit. Like nothing even happened.

I don't know if I should trust him.

I really want to though. I wish I could go back to our phone conversation and live in it.

I may have done something stupid last night.

I am back in that wanting to run away mood. Like ditch everything, even Joel, and just leave.