I think if I had internet at my house, I would probably write more. Typing on my phone, even though it's fucking huge, is a pain.

I got home from joels awhile ago. I got lost because I had to take some detour and it felt like I was lost for forever. But somehow still just took about three hours. It's definitely his turn next time.

I still never know what to think when I leave. Like things are definitely different, in a good way. But there are more important things i want to know that go untouched.

One thing I know is his dog Carl loooves me. And I love him, possibly more than joel. Seriously.

So I've been thinking about actually making a list of changes I know I can do, but I ALWAYS put it off anyways.

You are the creator of your own unhappiness sometimes.

Also tmi, but it's always awkward when people say something like "I think about fucking you all the time" while in the act. What do you say to that? Honestly, it was the most awkward awkward silence I have ever experienced.

I also had to force myself not to laugh, because I guess he doesn't like it when I laugh during sex.